Navigating the intense chemistry that often accompanies courtship can be challenging. Love has a way of overwhelming our logic and reason, leaving us vulnerable to powerful emotions and desires.

When I was courting my fiancé, Dewunmi, the attraction between us was undeniable. Our connection was electric and exhilarating. We both pursued each other passionately, and his self-control was an alluring quality. Despite the strong desire to be physically close, we maintained a commitment to purity throughout our five-year courtship. This period allowed us to focus on our academics, set goals, and build a strong foundation for our future together.

Upon graduating and beginning our careers, the urge to be physically intimate grew stronger. When the desire became overwhelming, we decided to get married. Our decision to wait until marriage made our physical relationship even more passionate and fulfilling. Knowing that he had waited for me and is faithful to me deepens my love and attraction for him.

Key Points to Consider:

1. Sexual Attraction is Normal in Courtship

Feeling a strong sexual attraction during courtship is natural, especially if you believe your relationship is divinely ordained. This attraction is part of the love that fulfills the biblical command to “Be fruitful and multiply” within marriage. Don’t burden yourself with guilt for having these feelings, as long as you refrain from acting on them outside of marriage.

2. Set Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is crucial to maintaining sexual purity during courtship. Set limits such as no visits past 7 PM, no hugging, no kissing, and avoiding situations that might stir your hormones and compromise your self-control. These boundaries will help you stay focused on your commitment to purity.

3. Be Honest with Each Other

Open communication about your sexual desires and vulnerabilities is essential. Women may experience heightened sexual desire during ovulation, while men also have times when their libido is stronger. Being upfront about these times can help you both avoid situations that might lead to temptation.

4. Avoid Flirty, Sexy, Midnight Chats

Late-night, intimate conversations can erode your self-control and lead to regretful decisions. Avoid engaging in these types of interactions to prevent situations where you might be tempted to compromise your values.

5. Set Your Wedding Date

If sexual desire becomes overwhelming, consider setting your wedding date sooner to alleviate the pressure. If you’re still in school or facing other obstacles, it might be wise to take a break from courtship until you can resume with a clearer head and stronger resolve.

While self-control is important, courtship requires more than that to maintain sexual purity. Setting and respecting boundaries is vital. Trying to rely solely on self-control in compromising situations is unwise. The Bible advises, “Can a man carry fire in his bosom and not be burned?” and “Flee from all appearances of evil.” Knowing when to stay and when to run will help you maintain your sanity and avoid mistakes.

May you find strength and guidance in your courtship journey.

Thank you for reading. See you next time, and God bless you.